


In Your Shadow

by CandyCrackpot



Series: Sacrifices [1]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: ? - Freeform, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Drama, Gen, Link crushing on Allen a bit, Link introspection I guess, Linktrospection, cursing, or a lot it's up to you, some strangulation, somewhat tragic though no one dies yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 03:21:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8605291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandyCrackpot/pseuds/CandyCrackpot
Summary: Link watches Allen - he always does. It takes him a while to see. Prologue to Unforgiven.





	

Pale moonlight filtered through the loosely drawn curtains, providing just enough light to make the room's occupants visible. The spacious piece provided lodging for two teenagers, whose beds were pushed together at the headboards.

In one bed laid a 16 year old boy with white hair, that appeared to be silver in the pale light. In the other a 19 year old blond young man was breathing evenly.

Even though the night was pleasantly silent it wasn't peaceful.

Thanks to his strict military training, Link immediately woke up when he heard the sound of crisp sheets rusting. Alarmed, he shot up from his lying position to sitting, his brown eyes in search of the source.

He let out the breath he held when he realised that Walker was tossing in his bed; he was having a nightmare again, it was getting more and more frequent. He got out of his bed slowly, mindful not to make a sound as he tiptoed over to the younger. His charge was curled into a foetal position, the cold pad falling off his flushed face. Noticing the change of his master's position, Timcanpy was quick to wake up too and fuss over the boy, then turned his attention to Link, who swore that the golem looked worried.

Swallowing his hesitation, Link lowered himself on Allen's mattress and placed his hand on his head. Walker did not wake up from the contact, however his brain did register the touch he received and started to calm down. Link waited until the boy's brows stopped furrowing and his breathing returned to normal. Seeing that Allen was fine, Tim settled down in his hold, so Allen could hold him. Which he did; feeling the pressure on his skin, Allen wrapped his hands around the golem and held him close to his chest. Tim didn't move, but his focus shifted onto the blond.

Once Walker calmed down Link let out a sigh, glancing at the now soundly sleeping roommate. Link lightly scowled at the unhealthy flush on younger's cheeks, it seems he was still having fever. He took of the dried towel and soundlessly made his way to the desk where the bowl of cool water was left. He dipped the cloth in the water and squeezed the unneeded moisture out of it, then got back to Allen's side and laid the cold pad over his forehead. This should do for now.

He frowned lightly when the golden golem sent him a toothy grin. As if he was telling that he knew _exactly_ what went through his head. As if he knew about Link's unhealthy attachment towards Walker. Link struggled to admit it, but he was concerned about Walker.

When they met the boy he barely held back a snort and tried not to barf from the disgustingly warm ki he emitted, like some miniature Sun. This undisciplined child was an Accommodator? The Innocence has chosen such an unorganized scatterbrain? They were getting younger and less fit for battle. Not that it mattered, anyone who carried Innocence had the responsibility of being an Exorcist and fight the Earl and the Noah. The fate of Suman Dark was a great reminder what would happen if they dared to oppose.

Yet here he was, Allen Walker, an Exorcist who clearly has some connection with their sworn enemies and has not Fallen or showed the signs of it. Well, no matter, the Innocence might make mistakes, but Inspector Leverrier and Central won't. As common sense required, Walker was placed under trial of heresy and Link was tasked to watch over him.

The fact that the suspect was a child did not deter him from his mission. He knew very well children shouldn't be underestimated by experience; by the time he was ten he knew a hundred different ways to incapacitate an opponent and even more ways to kill. He wouldn't be taken in by his childish antics, that little trick in the hallway was like an admittance. He agreed with his higher ups and was absolutely convinced that Walker was guilty and he was eager to provide with the evidence to the Secretary.

Link knew he wasn't as impartial to Walker as it would have been appropriate. He… had his own prejudice towards the boy, aside from doubting his capability and deeming him suspicious. He respected the boy and Exorcists in general as chosen ones of God, but he simply couldn't put aside that insufferable envy.

These Exorcist mostly despised their Innocence and saw them as shackles that bound them to a certain fate, disregarding the fact that the Innocence were the key to save their loved ones and mankind. To Link and Crows, who put their lives on the line, who received no divine protection of a God, this was insulting. No matter what they did, how much they _wanted_ to, they couldn't become Apostles. Just like Finders, all they could do is dieing for this cause, all they could hope for that God would accept their sacrifice and allow them to pass the Gates of Heaven.

And then there were these people who had what they yearned for, the power of a God, and had the audiancy to compare their wishes of normalcy to the whole world's survival. They failed to see how blessed they were, receiving the tool to save themselves and the things they held dear, a weapon a Crow can never even hope to attain. They were granted a place by God's side, their souls were under divine protection and were free of their crimes.

Link both respected and despised Exorcists - among them Allen Walker the most, since he was obviously related to the Devil they were fighting - in the Crow's eyes, they have always been and will always be cowards.

That is, until the Noah of Lust infiltrated the Order. He witnessed firsthand how Walker threw himself in the swarm of Level 3s, desperate to cut them all down and protect as many as possible - protecting all was a wishful thinking. Even with the help of the Generals, Walker completely exhausted himself. In the end he managed to destroy the Egg and save Miranda Lotto from being sacrificed by her comrades.

Dutifully, Link used the opportunity to collect some of the Egg as he was ordered to while everyone was distracted and presented it to the man who held his leash. He was relieved that it was finally over.

But then that monster was born.

Walker had a panic attack when he laid eyes on the Level 4, it's only thanks to Johnny Gill's begging that he could compose himself. The drained Walker was caught up in a powerful blast that sent him away flying and damaged him enough to leave him immobile. Link was quick to appear by his side when the rubble threatened to crush him and protected the boy. Upon close inspection, he found himself pause seeing the full extent of damage; the way Walker's breathing rattled flared a twinge of concern in his chest; was it broken ribs, ruptured organs or in worst case a broken spine? They were already short on Exorcists, but the Level 4 seemingly annihilated the Generals too, even in this state Walker needed to fight - _to die_ \- for them or else they were all doomed. But how was he going to do so when he couldn't even lift a finger?

His question found answer when Walker suddenly stopped breathing. The warning bells went down loudly in Link's head, he was sure he'd have to resuscitate him, however, there was no need for that. Walker's Innocence flared to life and pulled its Accommodator up like a puppet on its strings. Link's voice died in his throat when that masked face spared a glance at him. When he looked into the eyes of the mask he knew that it wasn't Walker, the warm and mellow aura took on an authoritative and otherworldly edge; it was as if he was in the presence of an incredibly powerful creature that could crush him like a mere insect.

The moment broke when the creature lost interest in him - or determined him to be harmless -, Crowned Clown released its Belt and dragged its host after the Akuma, leaving a speechless Link behind. Regaining his composure, the Inspector was quick to jostle the exchange down in his notebook, then ran after the boy.

Kanda Yuu and the Bookman Junior joined the fight Innocence-less, but as expected, without their respective Anti-Akuma weapons they couldn't do anything other than slowing the machine and help Walker hold the Sword of Exorcism that his battered body could barely grip properly. Even without their weapons they fearlessly threw themselves into the fight with bravery overshining that of a Crow's - who would still have their Wings. They would die if they aren't saved and they knew that - yet they still fought. Link a bit regretted being so judgemental towards Exorcists.

He watched, trembling from the unnerving ki, as the creature that possessed Walker pulled the limp body around and forced it to fight, disregarding his near death state, refusing to let go, refusing to let him recover; killing the Akuma took top priority, even at the cost of Walker's life. In those terrifying moments, it seemed that Walker was a mere tool for the Innocence to act on its impulses and destroy. This is what a Parasitic Innocence was, it leeched off of you while you lived and even kept you alive so it could kill you on its own. Link couldn't believe it that until now how much he really _wanted_ that power; how much he _still_ wants it. No matter what, he wanted to be useful to that man.

He shook off the thought. So what? Link was a pawn of Central, so was Walker and any other Exorcist and other staff, what difference did it make if God uses you too? If anything, that should feel like an honour. Link kept trying to believe that, but all he felt was bone-chilling dread.

Walker regained consciousness in Hevlaska's chamber and provided enough time for Lenalee Lee to resynchronize and the evacuation to finish, so the Generals could join too.

With the combined effort of three Exorcists, the Black order managed to take the Level 4 down. Walker then lowered himself to a random level while the Lee girl went to fetch help for him. Link found her running around frantically demanding a doctor, but she forgot about Walker when she spotted the scientist that was turned into a skull.

After a seemingly endless march up the stairs, Link finally found the boy leaning against an intact pillar like an old, discarded doll. As if he was abandoned by God, as if it was fine if he passed away here, since he outlived his use and God had no longer need for a broken puppet, he could die for all God cared. "Just...go…" he whispered hoarsely, unable to even lift his head properly. "Imma gonna be fine… and you've been here longer than me…"

It seems Walker failed to notice that the girl already left and Link was in his presence instead. Even in this state, even though he was clearly left behind, all he was concerned about was her feelings. "I already sent her up," he informed with a soft scowl. He didn't understand. But that was besides the point, Walker needed medical treatment urgently. God might have turned his back on the boy, but humanity still needed him.

He carefully took hold of the broken body and hoisted him over he back to carry him to the infirmary piggy-back style.

"Who?" came the weak question.

"Howard Link," he replied.

"Chink?"

Link paused as another flash of concern run through him, but he quickly squashed the feeling, Walker's present actions were no proof that he was innocent - he reminded himself - if anything, the earlier events can be an indicator of God's distaste towards him. Maybe God didn't care at all. Maybe he _was_ abandoned after all.

_Just like us._

Link choked that traitorous voice again.

"The medical department has their hands full so I'm taking you there," he tried to sound reasonable, tried to convince himself that that was only it, that he didn't sympathise with the boy and he didn't start to doubt the accusation that Walker was a potential traitor. He pretended that he didn't hear the small voice that timidly brought up that Allen Walker may be not guilty.

"Thank you," the boy breathed in his ear rasply.

"It's my job," Link replied. He wasn't really sure who he was talking to.

"What about Reever and the others?" the boy on his back asked worried. There was no point in lying or beating around the bush. Link was convinced that if his answer was unsatisfactory, Walker wouldn't hesitate to throw himself off his back and crawl on all-fours to where they were and not even another Level 4 could stop him.

"They are fine," he replied softly. He felt Walker let out a shaky exhale in relief. Link felt a tingle akin to regret at what he was about to say, but trying to sugar-coat this would be inappropriate, impossible and honestly, Walker didn't seem to be the type to appreciate it. "The humans at least. The skulls couldn't be saved. Several have already died and turned to sand."

A tense silence settled until the sound of muffled chokes alerted Link. His brows creased as he felt the small body shook with pained sobs. And yet again that traitorous little voice was whispering again in his ears. Link found that he actually agreed.

That sorrow, those tears… there's no way they were all lies.

 _No_ , he snapped harshly at himself, _don't think with your feelings, don't let your emotions derail you._ He couldn't let himself be influenced by whims anymore, he had to look at the matter skeptically, just like the man who raised him.

Link had to put his prejudice aside, so he could watch with an unbiased eye.

After the attack, Walker was out like a candle - not that Link blamed him, to him it was a miracle that the boy was still _alive_ \- but despite that he recovered at a ridiculously fast pace, in a week he was up and around, eager to aid the moving. Since all his injuries were healed not even the Head Nurse could keep him from moving around. Just as he was discharged he was requested in the Supervisor's office. Where he was informed that the Order intended to put the Ark to use. The boy apparently expected that since he didn't even put up resistance, but he did show slight disgust that this song was implanted in his mind, seemingly against his own will and without his knowledge.

As the boy hunched over, face buried in his hands, Link once again wondered: did Allen Walker truly possess malicious intentions? Did he even _know_ who he was?

He stopped dead in his track. Why did he even care? His job was not to judge, just monitor; reveal the truth about Allen Walker and his connection he didn't seem to be aware of until recently.

However, Link knew that the human memory was a terribly untrustworthy companion, there were dozens of drugs that tampered with memories - or eradicated without trace, the Order too possessed several of such potions. It wasn't impossible that Walker was victim of one of these substances and he only needed a trigger to have everything flow back to him.

Then again, he could have it taken out of his own free will, to fool the world and just waited for the signal to recover them - told his more professional side.

Both were entirely possible. It was clear as day that Walker, either intentionally or unintentionally, was akin to a sleeping agent, waiting to awaken.

Link never hated being right so much.

Walker did has his memories tampered with - by a Noah's. Not only that, but those memories would overwrite his own, which would result in his destruction; one day Allen Walker would disappear without trace, mercilessly devoured for the sake of the revival of Fourteenth.

Saying that Walker wasn't pleased was grave understatement; he was in a whirlwind of anger, hatred, sorrow, bitterness and betrayal. He tried to play it off as acting angry and rebellious, but Cross, who raised the boy, Link who lived with him and Bookman Jr who was trained for situations like this saw through his bravado; Walker failed to properly shroud his pain this time.

Even Link who was a Crow and used to see and inflict death, was petrified from the thought of such slow and cruel demise; to helplessly struggle as the chains of fate suffocated him and turned him into a bloodthirsty beast that would destroy everything he loved with his own hands.

As Walker sat there with his head bowed, defeated and unfathomably lonely, it seemed that Walker was truly abandoned by everyone. No one would save him.

Still, the boy still seemed to believe in his teacher. Link couldn't decide if it was genuine trust or he just desperately tried to hang onto the person who raised him, who he was supposed to be able to rely on.

Any other person would have wanted to kill Cross after hearing such thing - maybe this is why Walker's Innocence needed to be sealed?

But if Walker was to be a Noah, why did he have Innocence-?

_God. Oh God._

That's _exactly_ why Walker possesses Innocence. It was his executor. Once Walker became a Noah, he would be destroyed from within through horrible agony - _if_ he lived through the transformation.

This. This was beyond cruel. To slowly rot away, knowing that for anyone, you're nobody, you're _nothing,_ no one loves you, no one will miss you. It's not even certain that Walker didn't want any of this - who _would_? Did he really have to be punished so severely? Did God really hate him so much? That he gave him an illusion of being loved only to shatter it so mercilessly? Not even saving so many lives could excuse his Noah genes?

 _He's a Noah_ , he reminded himself. _He's the monster you despised, one of the monsters that killed thousands and hundred thousands without mercy, the monsters that you wanted to kill above all._

_**When Mana said… I' love you… did he mean… me… or…** _

But after this… Link wasn't sure he could do it anymore.

Either way all he could feel was the cold emptiness, the faintest trace of a black hole that started to leech on the bright star. Just like an orphan left out in the dead of winter, waiting for the cold to claim him, while people indifferently watched from the sidelines - his insides painfully twisted at the parallel between their early childhood.

Yet Walker didn't shed a tear when everything around him fell apart, he was way too drowned in self-loathing and cold resignation he expressed with a bitter smile. He didn't cry on the next day either when Cross Marian disappeared, leaving a mere pool of blood behind. For someone who cried for others so much, this was just. Too out of space. How did he lose the sympathy for his own self and suffering?

Link hated it, he hated this feeling of hesitation whenever it was about Walker. He no longer knew what to believe so he just continued watching like he always did, hoping that he could finally _see_.

XXX

Walker's face was expressionless as his comrades were delivered with the news.

"In case Allen Walker were to awaken as the 14th…" the Chief simply couldn't finish the sentence and thus declare an order of execution on the boy. His lips trembled, trying to formulate the words, even if right now that was the only way to keep him alive and somewhat free.

"In that case, please kill me," the boy finished for him, startling even the supervisor himself. "But that won't happen. I will defeat the 14th, you'll see," he promised in an even voice, as if he recited a line he learned. So that's what he's been thinking on all night.

Most of his comrades are too stunned to say a word, the only reaction was Kanda turning his back and leaving in a haste. Seeing that no one could say a word, Allen too excused himself and retreated to his bedroom. He didn't emerge to eat meals that day.

XXX

After the general disappeared Walker became more violent with his enemies, his blade cut through the Level 3s mercilessly, splattering blood over himself that his Innocence greedily licked up. He did his darndest, but Walker couldn't hide his depression. Seemingly no one but Kanda noticed it, but the Exorcist avoided the other like plague and didn't even acknowledge his presence. The only time they interacted was when they were bickering, but unlike other times the words were _harsh_ and bitingand that well cloaked fondness for one another was absent. Kanda was way more upset about the 14th than he let on, but sadly he could only cope as he always did - turn away from the problem, leaving Allen on his own, just like everyone else. As much as his comrades did love him, he wasn't important enough for any of them to risk everything for him - not like Allen did for them.

With a heavy heart, Link wrote it all down; he owed this to Central, the world and the Inspector.

XXX

Again. He was listening to that man's final message again, as if he tried to will himself to gather courage from it. Link just gazed into his book, knowing that Walker was listening to the whole thing with an expressionless face, emotions hidden behind lowered white eyelashes.

"Hey, Allen," the fact that his Master addressed him on his given name was a telltale sign that something was wrong "come to think of it I never asked you before, but… do you like Tim? I asked you to hold onto him for me, but I always planned on giving him to you. I told Tim he can do as he wishes from now on. You may not want to listen to me knowing that I carry on the Fourteenth's will, but in case you think you're forced to walk a path the Fourteenth and I chose for you, I just want to tell you that you're wrong. A path is something you create as you're walking, the ground you stepped on hardens and creates the path you're walking. You're the only one who creates your own path. So stop wearing the mask of Mana. Walk on your own, if you haven't given up that is."

Silver irises blinked open, zeroing on Timcanpy's hovering form before he reached forward and started to torture poor golem by pulling its cheeks apart. "No matter how many times I listen to it, it sounds like a final request or something," the boy confessed and Link was quick to scribble it down."It pisses me off."

Glancing up, Link stole a look at his charge from the corner of his eye. "But surely, that's what it is?"

"But this stuff isn't like my Master at all." Finally letting go of Tim's abused cheeks, Walker stood up. "That's right. My path isn't set for me. I will create it on my own."

Noticing that it was time, Link snapped his book shut. _The Mask of Mana, huh…_ So this is how Cross generally referred to Walker's tendency to shroud his true feelings behind his polite speech and deceiving smiles. A mask that cracked when Walker was told about the Fourteenth, but it still served its purpose. The ones who didn't see him that night wouldn't even notice the difference. Link wondered if he got to see all what was underneath before the Fourteenth eroded him.

"Hey, Link, do you mind if I take the last doughnut?" he asked casually, as if Link wasn't just witness to such an intimate moment.

Link blinked in surprise before he exploded. "Just how many have you eaten?!"

Tim too started fussing, so pouting, Walker took the final doughnut, broke it in three and shoved it in the golem's mouth, kept one and extended final piece to Link. After a second of hesitation Link took it with a small nod and Walker enclosed the final piece with his lips. Link noticed that his eyes lingered there longer than necessary.

Ok, he did not just develop a crush on Walker for sharing doughnut with him. It was a process.

"Beansprout, quit stuffing your face, it's time," Kanda Yuu's voice came through Timcanpy's body. He ignored Walker's muffled cry of "it's Allen" and pressed on. "Don't let the police snatch away our prey."

Soon enough Phantom Thief G did appear and Kanda immobilised it without a hitch, but then another one appeared on the roof. Walker forced it to the ground by kicking G in the face, making him fly a couple of metres back.

"Walker, make sure you don't damage the crown, it's worth more than we can hope to reimburse," Link warned the boy who was cracking his knuckles.

"How much is it?" he inquired.

"Enough to make General Cross's debt look like nothing."

Walker blanched. "I'll protect it with my life," he promised.

"The police?" G asked, somewhat recovered after Walker's kick.

Walker gave a small laugh. "No, but we are _here_ to capture you."

Hearing that, G threw the crown away and as he promised, Walker jumped after it, almost falling off the roof in process. That's when Link's lost his consciousness. The next thing he knew is that he was sore, he was held by Walker and that the sword of Exorcism pierced him from behind. As the reports said, it really did not hurt, Link could feel its presence within him, he could feel Walker's ki channel into his body through it. Despite Cross's foreboding, Link was relieved to feel it unchanged. Walker gave him a sheepish smile then retracted his weapon.

Thanks to Marie they could track down the phantom, his hideout was the Hearst Orphanage of Paris. G turned out to be a child with a globe sticking out of his forehead, which allowed him to possess people. The child accidentally possessed Walker when a blonde woman kicked their foreheads together. Link was ashamed to admit that Kanda Yuu and Noise Marie realised this fact that it wasn't Walker sobbing fountains over a scratch (he should have known better, Walker only complained about his hunger and the mountains of paperwork Link forced him to fill. Maybe he was too surprised when G wearing Walker's body leaned in too close to gaze in his eyes deeply.)

Regretfully, with their appearance the Earl got to know too that there might be an Innocence there. Before they knew it they were encased in a barrier, where not even Walker's cursed eye worked, it was his mere intuition that told him to activate. Once the Level 4 showed up, Walker immediately volunteered to open a gate and clear the area of civilians.

Link instantly objected. "No, Walker! Have you forgotten your restrictions placed on your musician abilities? You are permitted to use the Ark when and only when you have explicit authorisation from Central and the Order. Creating gates without authorisation would amount as insubordination!" What _was_ he doing? His job is not to guard Walker, just monitor him.

But he'd get even bigger trouble if he disobeyed and Link really didn't want to see that.

Before he could berate himself for being unprofessional and intervene, Walker beat it to him. "What?! Are you stupid?! There are women and children trapped within here and that thing has targeted Timothy who's a child as well!"

"Stupid or not, orders are orders!" he barked back, insulted that Walker such way of Central agency and the Secretary. "Do you really want your position to get worse?!" he tried to reason. The two of them held each other's gazes until Walker had enough and turned his back on him.

"I don't care," he deadpanned, "my position sucks anyways."

Link wanted to yell at him in frustration, did Walker truly fail to see that he was treading on thin ice and he might truly get tried on heresy?

His worry turned out to be for naught as Walker failed to summon a gate.

Walker, Kanda Yuu and Noise Marie had a hard time dealing with that Level 4 while Link protected Timothy Hearst from a Level 3 after Timothy defeated the Level 2s. With Link's body weakened by the Dark Matter he couldn't hold out for long, it was only thanks to Madarao that he was saved. As baffled as his was to see his childhood friend he considered a sibling defeat an Akuma he had no time to get nostalgic, the Level 4 was still around. He had to get their new Exorcist to safety.

Walker managed to sever one of its arm but the monster caught the Sword of Exorcism between its teeth and kicked it away from Walker, leaving him defenceless to its virus laced bullets.

Worry pulsed in Link's veins as he watched the boy get shot countless times by the machine gun as it tore him apart; while the Akuma blood did not affect him, if those bullets pierced a vital organ or an artery Walker would die. Link's pulse unpleasantly quickened at the thought.

Unseen by the Akuma, the Sword of Exorcism rose from the ground and stabbed it from behind as it was summoned by its host; it ripped through the air until it got buried in its Accommodator.

Relief washed over Link when the Level 4 ceased fire. The outcome of this fight was already clear.

Is what he thought before he jolted from the inhuman cry of pure agony that erupted from Walker, it shook the air and the bodies; then as abruptly as it came it stopped. There was only silence. Link didn't dare to breathe.

Suddenly a katana ran through the Akuma's head from behind, calling Walker on that derogatory name, which he eagerly responded to by aiding his comrade to slice the Level 4 into shreds.

Link was ready to thrust Timothy Hearst in either Madarao's or Marie's arms when Walker slid down the wall; Link couldn't help but recall the aftermath of the first Level 4 attack, when Walker fell to the ground similar fashion. He almost fell to his knees in relief when he heard Walker retore to Kanda that his name was Allen.

Thanks to the Science Department they were freed from the barrier they could return back to HQ and their wounds could be finally tended to.

Link was finishing his report when Walker finally spoke up from behind. "The natural way that Head Superior talks to Timothy reminds me of Mana."

Link's eyes widened when he heard that name. Inaudibly Link stood up from his seat and removed his glasses to see Walker better, afraid that if he made the slightest sound the boy might seal his lips forever.

He didn't. "Timothy is a little like I used to be too, so I can understand how he feels," Walker added. He thought Link couldn't see his face as he sat showing his back to the elder, but Link could see his expression reflected on the window; that heart wrenching sorrow, that cold resignation and that impossible longing. Link's own withered heart mimiced the emotion.

Were these negative emotions feeding that bright star? If so, how come Walker ended up like that yet he-

No, he ordered himself, he couldn't compare Walker's life to his; it was dangerous, just like the Bookmen, Crow had no need for a heart. He knew what he had to do, he had to use this opportunity to get long-awaited answers; now, that he was tired and used to Link in general, Walker's guards were down.

_**When Mana said he loved me... did he mean me… or…** _

Brown eyes lowered at the memory, zeroing on hunched shoulders. Walker was abandoned by everyone, left alone to die even though he was surrounded by people. No one would save him.

How _could_ he. "This must be the first time you talk about Mana," he said instead. He… he wanted that horribly lonely boy to at least hold onto his vague memories - all that he had left, all that was slowly being stripped from him. Link just couldn't bring himself to rip away the only thing kept Walker sane. _I'm sorry Walker, this is as much as I can help you._

He was a failure.

Walker was flabbergasted for a second, then nodded. "You may be right," he murmured then a small smile graced his lips. It seems despite all, he still wanted to believe in the man he considered his father.

Walker stood up from his couch and stumbled to the desk to fetch some more ice, then crashed into his bed with a snicker. "I guess this proves that these days you're like furniture to me, Link."

"Furniture?!" the blond echoed in disbelief. Walker let out a hearty chuckle then glanced at him with a warm and gentle smile. Link didn't like to admit but the warmth of that smile was contagious, he could feel it light up in his chest and creep up to his cheeks. How could someone who's been abandoned by God hold so much love?

Walker nestled himself in the sheets and wished him goodnight as he dozed off. Link responded with a goodnight himself, a little breathier than he intended. He contributed it to exhaustion as he went back to finish his paperwork.

Once he was done he let out a relieved sigh and fell asleep himself; if Walker didn't have a nightmare he probably would have slept through the whole night.

He let his eyes roam over the scars on the uncovered expanse of Walker's skin, especially the latest one left by Walker's own Innocence, that stretched from his shoulders down past his navel, stopping at his hip bone; a proof what he was, what he was becoming; its permanent throbbing would be the constant reminder how his own weapon hurt him.

Link will never forget the screams.

Was it truly an act? Was he brainwashed? Really, no one can keep up a pretense this good, to do it 24/7 with a Crow such as him. Also, even if he detected some unease and suspicion in the beginning, Walker shook it off and dare he say, grew comfortable in Link's presence. And Link in turn, unintentionally grew comfortable with Walker himself. More than that actually, he grew to respect and admire his skills and courage. He had a gentle heart that was both a flaw and an admirable trait, that drove him to stick out his neck for complete strangers.

Link was often annoyed by his behaviour, but he had to admit that he's miss it; the clowning, the laughs, the bickerings. God knows how long he can still relish them.

The Exorcist became a constant factor in his life that he took comfort in, now that he realised what happened to his old, childhood friends he needed it more than ever. Walker probably noticed that something was off with him and that's why he started teasing him, he had an extraordinary sense of detecting people's mood and made it his mission to cheer people up. 'It's clown pride' he said. It filled Link with warmth he haven't felt in a long while.

Since he first started supervising his outlook on Walker changed drastically. Link knew why, it's because as he lived by his side, he finally learned to see: the hopes,the dreams, the pain and that deep-rooted self-loathing. He found himself wanting to know for sure that Walker is innocent, so he could continue living with him like this every day. He found himself wanting to share that burden and finally free him from that solitude, the largest scar of all. The new one he inflicted on himself was a proof of his sin, it was also the proof of his love and sacrifice.

With every day he shined brighter, radiated warmer, just like a small sun - a sun that was on the verge of burning out. And in his space only the black hole known as the Fourteenth would remain.

Timcanpy shot him a questioning look when he slid off of Walker's bed to kneel right beside it. Gently, he took the black left hand in his hands, closing it within his owns, head dipped in submission. It's been awhile since his last prayer, but in this situation that was all he could do. He prayed to the God that abandoned Walker.

_Please. Please don't make him suffer like this. Please save him. Please let him be happy._ _**Please** _ _._

He was powerless to save this boy. He only had his prayers… but he'd pray however long to whatever God to preserve him.

Link stayed there kneeling for hours, repeating his wish over and over again. He only stopped when the Sun started rising and shined into Walker's face, which twitched trying to block it out. Link was about to rise and deal with it, but the golden little golem shot up and drew the curtains for him. Tim hovered in the air, waiting for him to finish. Link nodded at the creature in thanks then turned back to Walker who continued to sleep. Link leaned forward and kissed the cross on the boy's hand.

_May God have mercy on your soul._

**Author's Note:**

> I want to believe that Crowned Clown does love Allen, but yeah this can be a possibility too. I guess this is a fair explanation to why Link went from "it's not my job" to Momma Bear and why Tim grew to like him enough to settle in his hair. Thank you for reading, please review.


End file.
